Sunday, July 13, 2008

Potty Mouth

While I make jokes about my kids being little demons, they're generally polite and respectful. More than once, people have commented on how polite and articulate they are. They have their moments.

For the most part, I think my husband and I have modeled good behavior. We're not the Waltons, but we don't drop f-bombs willy-nilly when they're within earshot. Usually.

After years of working in newsrooms with colorful journalists, &%$* became my word of choice when computers crashed, stories broke at 6 p.m. on a Friday, or other deeply unpleasant things occurred. Even now, it slips out when whole cartons of juice spill or I realize, halfway to the office, that I've left my laptop at home.

Anyway, we were at Borders today when my daughter announced she was ready to head to the children's section. I was in the middle of browsing and told her to wait. That's when I heard her sigh and mutter &%$* under her breath. This wasn't an innocent mimic routine. Her delivery was so perfectly world-weary that the twentysomething hipster to our right turned and raised an eyebrow. It's one thing to hear your kid repeat something sketchy, but quite another to hear them do so with style.

Of course, I was mortified and delivered a stern "don't say that again" talking-to before beating a path to the "new in paperback" table.

This happened with my son when he was about 5, but it was much, much worse. He showed off his new vocabulary word in front of my mother, who, despite having cursed liberally when I was growing up, was shocked.

Thanks, kids. Way to sell Mom out.

11 comments:

Lyza Lynne said...

Oh yeah, kids are great at letting little things 'slip'. I have to admit, the older they get, the less it happens. But, then comes the whole problem of it not 'slipping' and it being part of their vernacular as teens. Thankfully, my kids haven't begun that yet, and I think both their dad and I have some pretty high standards for word choice. Have you seen the Shakespearian insult generator. Pretty cool, and might come in handy the next time you want to let a colorful phrase fly.

The Irredeemable Shag said...

LOL! Sorry, I don't mean to laugh at your pain. I've been there with my kids too. I am a potty mouth, sadly. So it slips out in front of the kids once and a while.

My favorite was when I accidently said s#!+ after injuring myself. My 2-year old daughter danced around the house singing the word for the next 10 minutes. To make it worse, we couldn't stop laughing which encouraged her even more.

But in front of your mother. Ouch. You can return the favor in 20 years and teach their kids to curse. :)

Christina said...

Ah, you gotta tell us what she said!

EDP said...

Lyza Lynne, I will definitely check out that insult generator. Maybe I can get myself to say "Codswallop" or something sorta British. And Christina, it rhymed with "pluck."

Christina said...

NO WAY! She went there? That's ballsy.

EDP said...

She did! Girl's got guts.

downtown guy said...

Ha! I remember when my baby sister was 2 or 3, sitting in her high chair one night. Something happened that she didn't like, and she started banging her hand down on her tray going, "Damn! Damn! Damn!" My dad cocked an eye at mom, who just threw back, "Hey, if you were around these kids all day, you'd cuss, too."

downtown guy said...

Oddly enough, my mom just posted this blog:

http://blessourhearts.blogspot.com/2008/07/
educating-our-young.html

EDP said...

Downtown Guy, I think your mom and I would get along very well. That post made me laugh out loud!

downtown guy said...

I thought you'd get a kick out of that.

H F said...

Oh, a friend of mine loves to tell the story of when her nephew, then three, happily called out, "see ya later, f***-face!" to her husband when they were leaving their house. The room hushed and all eyes turned to his father, who silently backed out of the room.

And Shag, for you to call yourself "a potty mouth" is an understatement. :)