Friday, April 18, 2008

In Praise of the Smokin' Dad

It's nice to live in an age when women over 40 aren't automatically consigned to the Sexually Neutral dustbin. But something about the whole Cougar/MILF/GILF thing pisses me off — aside from the icky acronym. Notice how no one ever says, "Hey, that guy is a father of three, but he's still good-looking" or "Man, it's amazing how great Phil looks at age 42"? It's as if people are surprised to see an attractive mom who owns a tube of lipstick and still goes to the gym (I know several). Or that a woman older than Carrie Underwood could still be hot. Why?

I mean, I see a lot of middle-aged dads, and it's not like their ranks are exactly filled with Hugh Jackman types. I think my 40-year-old runner/skater husband (and baby daddy) looks fantastic. But an awful lot of his peers look they aren't even trying, unlike their wives, who are berating themselves for not looking 23 and childless. So let us now praise and objectify the Smokin' Dad, that rare breed of eye candy.

First, there's the dad at my daughter's preschool: sleek as a cat, stylish in that urban slacker way and owner of a muy sexy accent. When he says "Good morning, ladies" after dropping his kid off, I know I'm not the only one going all fluttery inside. Good morning to you, sir!

There's another dad at my son's school, and he apparently comes straight from the gym to pick up his kid. I don't see him anymore since the husband and I switched schedules. That's too bad, because the guy is usually wearing shorts and a snug T-shirt. He's got a kind of Clark Kent thing going on with glasses, short, dark hair, and a nice ... form. Well done.

Smokin' Dad No. 3 walks past our neighborhood almost every day, and he's usually accompanied by his adorable toddler, equally cute wife and their three — yes, three — Weimeraner dogs. Sometimes he's got the kid strapped to his back. That's how hardcore he is, and it shows. Woof!

There are others, most notably the Former Geek Dads who have more than overcome their awkward teen phases. They were always the hottest ones, anyway.


Sghoul said...

All excellent points.

BTW, nice rack.

Sghoul said...

In all seriousness, the main reason for the female designations is simply that men are more outgoing about their sexual desires. That, and we run the world.

H F said...

You are hilarious. But no mention of my scandalously-good-looking hubby? For shame! :)

EDP said...

If there were a "Hot Dads" calendar, R. would definitely be on it! (And as for you sghoul, you can't run the world very well if you're distracted by our racks.)

Sghoul said...

Not distracted by...motivated by!