Helen Mirren: 63 And Smoking

I'm prepared to accept that actress Dame Helen Mirren, at 63, has access to trainers, chefs and plastic surgeons that mere mortals can only dream of. And, OK, she has never had any children, which have a way of rearranging your body after you give birth to them. Only she knows for sure, but Mirren doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who is interested in pretending she's 40. She looks like a mature woman, and I mean that in the best possible way. Frankly, I think she's hot. Some time back, I put her on my list of Women I Might Switch Teams For Under Different Circumstances. But that is a topic for another day.

So I was not incredibly surprised to learn that she was the face behind the bikini-clad body on tabloid covers (screaming headline: "She's 63!") While Madonna's 50-plus body is the stuff of legend, it's a little too scary-intimidating for my taste. She could probably snap me like a twig, despite weighing only 15 pounds. Mirren's body is more striking in that it is trim yet womanly in all the right places. She looks like she works out but still drinks a glass of wine or has a cupcake every now and then.

Now to make this about me: Today, a very fit person stunned me by saying, "OK, you are looking trim. I can see your clavicle!" In rapid succession, her assistant said, "Your pants are too big!" Now, no one is going to bumrush me on the street and demand to know the name of my trainer anytime soon, but - can I say it? - my work seems to be paying off. A person just meeting me wouldn't be impressed, like, at all, but anyone who has known me for more than a year can see a different EDP emerging. I have a long, long way to go, but I am beginning to do certain things automatically - like saying, "I am going to work out today" and meaning it, whether I want to or not. I can make good decisions about food without being bitter ("But I want the fried ones!"). My daughter routinely asks, "Mommy, did you exercise today?"

Maybe if I keep it up, I will have a snowball's chance in hell of looking like the fabulous Dame Helen Mirren when I am not 63, but 43. I'd consider that a victory.

Obama's Geek Cred Confirmed!

Well, this is pretty doggone exciting. I'm gonna make sure this is reserved in my comics folder, because it is guaranteed to sell out. Read all about the Spidey/Barack team-up here.

Being Part Of History Sounds Painful

My brother-in-law F. has tickets for Barack Obama's swearing-in ceremony. Yay, F.! I hope he takes a lot of pictures and tells me all about it the next time I see him. While Rick Warren's role is decidedly un-awesome, this is such an exciting time in our nation's history. But it never occurred to me to ask F. to hook me up so that I could get a piece of the inauguration action. I lived in the D.C. area long enough to know that it is very, very cold in January, and traffic can be a gigantic pain in the ass on a normal day. Multiply that by 1,000, and that's what I imagine the scene will be like on Jan. 29.

I have run into so many people who say they're planning to go inauguration to be a part of history, and God bless 'em. I'll be streaming it from my desk. I can't think of anything I'd rather do less than parachute into such gridlock and mass frustration. Some of my otherwise sane relatives are talking about taking a road trip. Maybe if I were still in college and up for anything, I'd do it. It's not like I wouldn't have places to stay. But first, I'd have to get there. That is going to be harder - much harder - than people think. As my friend L. put it, "Folks are talking about 'stopping by' the inauguration like it's a house party." According to the New York Times, even people who have tickets are going to need Lance Armstrong levels of stamina.

Maybe it will all be worth it for the reported million people who are expected to show up. Certainly, it is heartwarming that Obama's victory means so much to so many people. In case I haven't made it very clear, I'm big fan. But somehow, I think he'll have a perfectly good time without me.

Who's The Fairest Of Them All?

I don't intend to turn this into a photo blog, but I finally got a decent shot of Brando in all his blue-eyed glory. He pretty much rocks, except for his annoying habit of trying to poop on one corner of the living room carpet. I'm told this is a "texture" issue, so we've surrounded it with plastic and given him a second litterbox with a towel underneath to mimic the carpet feel. Apparently, some cats don't like to mix their liquids and solids, if you know what I mean. But he's great with the kids and doesn't keep us up at night, as some kittens do.

One of my friends has an ironic painting of his gorgeous Russian blue in his home, and I thought the whole "cat art" idea was a hoot. In my case, though, my friends might not get the joke and think I've gone completely around the bend.

A Nice Photo I Took

For about an hour yesterday, I was so angry with my son, who was being as difficult and argumentative as he has ever been. It was one of those days when I wondered why someone like me, a control freak who who always wants to seem "appropriate," wound up with a kid who smells fear and kicks it around like a soccer ball. And then I took a look at this picture of him with a friend, which reminded me of how sweet and downright charming he can be. It's a package deal. I guess a picture really is worth ... don't make me say it.

Baconnaise: For Real?

Does the world really need bacon-flavored mayonnaise?

A Few Thoughts On 2009

Off the top of my head, here are few things I want to do, or do better, in 2009.

1. Accept that fitness is a journey, not a destination: I went for a power walk yesterday, and it struck me that I am now the kind of person who goes for power walks on a holiday. I savored that for one minute, then thought about the fact that exercising vigorously and eating mindfully are two things I'm gonna have to do for the rest of my life. I am not at my goal weight yet, but I am roughly 20 pounds closer than I was a year ago.

2. Stop whining about work: I have a job, which is more than a lot of people can say right now. I get caught up in the Oprah ideal of finding my "soul's true purpose" or whatever, but sometimes it's good to be grateful for what you have.

3. Read better comics: I bought a lot of crap in 2008, mostly on autopilot. But the major comics publishers are going to have to work a little harder for my money this year, and I'm going to try not to be an "event" sheep.

4. Take better photos: I have a very good point-and-shoot, but there is an SLR with my name on it. However, I can't justify buying it until I've tapped my current camera's full potential. There is quite a bit to learn.

5. Relax a little about parenting, especially where my oldest child is concerned: This is probably about as likely as me taking up parasailing, but I can try, right? I am a worrier by nature, and a friend once told me that my iron-willed, high-decibel son was "possibly the worst kind of child for someone with a personality like yours." He didn't mean that my kid was a jerk, but that I was going to have to take the hand-wringing down a few notches.

6. Get out of town more: Traveling solo and with my family this fall/winter was excellent therapy for me. More, please.

7. Be kind when I don't feel like it: I think I'm pretty kind most of the time, but I have a tendency to frost over when people become passive aggressive or behave like 4-year-olds (especially if they are not 4). I'm going to work on taking the high road a little more often.

8. Enjoy the good relationships I've built over the years: I did some pruning in 2008, and I can truly say that the people who are in my life now are there because I want them to be. Friendship is a gift, and I'd like to give as much as I receive.

I'm sure I'll think of something else.