Zachary Quinto + Dairy = OMG

I don't know if this is some kind of super-hot advertising campaign from the Dairy Farmers of America, but I like it.

Dick Grayson: An Appreciation (Of Sorts)

I know Dick Grayson isn't real and that if he were, he'd be plenty legal by now. But it used to make me feel a tad queasy whenever comics made reference to Grayson's (aka Nightwing) hotness or sex life. I mentioned this to my friend Shag a year or two ago, because I was beginning to get the feeling that Nightwing had either hooked up with every young woman in the D.C. universe or figured prominently in their fantasies. His reply was along the lines of, "Heck, yes. This is why he is a hero among male D.C. readers."

Grayson hasn't been Batman's teen sidekick for years, but being confronted with this is a little like running into the kid you used to babysit and realizing that he's not only a college senior but also incredibly good-looking. And ripped. It seems wrong, if not illegal, to notice.

Oh, well. Artist Nicola Stewart kicked that door down with a fabulously glute-tastic panel of Nightwing in the latest issue of "Secret Six." Dang. I guess fighting crime with circus-honed acrobatics is a hell of a workout. My friend V. confessed that she stared at that particular panel for 10 minutes. A Facebook friend, also female, virtually high-fived my mention of this particular rendering.

I am now of the opinion that Stewart should draw Nightwing, like, all the time.

Helen Mirren: 63 And Smoking

I'm prepared to accept that actress Dame Helen Mirren, at 63, has access to trainers, chefs and plastic surgeons that mere mortals can only dream of. And, OK, she has never had any children, which have a way of rearranging your body after you give birth to them. Only she knows for sure, but Mirren doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who is interested in pretending she's 40. She looks like a mature woman, and I mean that in the best possible way. Frankly, I think she's hot. Some time back, I put her on my list of Women I Might Switch Teams For Under Different Circumstances. But that is a topic for another day.

So I was not incredibly surprised to learn that she was the face behind the bikini-clad body on tabloid covers (screaming headline: "She's 63!") While Madonna's 50-plus body is the stuff of legend, it's a little too scary-intimidating for my taste. She could probably snap me like a twig, despite weighing only 15 pounds. Mirren's body is more striking in that it is trim yet womanly in all the right places. She looks like she works out but still drinks a glass of wine or has a cupcake every now and then.

Now to make this about me: Today, a very fit person stunned me by saying, "OK, you are looking trim. I can see your clavicle!" In rapid succession, her assistant said, "Your pants are too big!" Now, no one is going to bumrush me on the street and demand to know the name of my trainer anytime soon, but - can I say it? - my work seems to be paying off. A person just meeting me wouldn't be impressed, like, at all, but anyone who has known me for more than a year can see a different EDP emerging. I have a long, long way to go, but I am beginning to do certain things automatically - like saying, "I am going to work out today" and meaning it, whether I want to or not. I can make good decisions about food without being bitter ("But I want the fried ones!"). My daughter routinely asks, "Mommy, did you exercise today?"

Maybe if I keep it up, I will have a snowball's chance in hell of looking like the fabulous Dame Helen Mirren when I am not 63, but 43. I'd consider that a victory.

Rahm Emanuel: Hot

Is it wrong to point out that the next White House Chief of Staff is kinda smoking hot? Surely not as wrong as this inappropriate yet hilarious commentary on Obama's rumored Cabinet.

Crushed

At last night's book club dinner, the subject turned to celebrity crushes. Or to be more specific, "Who would you dump your husband for?" I'm not sure what this says about me, but I answered first: "Hugh Jackman. Hands down." (Honey, if you're reading this, it was the cocktails talking! Ha ha ha ha ha ha.)

My husband has a good sense of humor, and we got this issue out of the way fairly early in our relationship. Our current agreement that if Thandie Newton comes looking for him, well, no hard feelings. We had a good run. Drop a postcard every now and then.

Hugh is my Thandie Newton, and I don't care that he starred in "Van Helsing" and "Swordfish." A straight male friend of mine even once admitted, "That's a good-looking dude." He sings. He dances. He is Australian. He is almost always described as a genuinely nice person, and he has love for the geeks (See: Wolverine).

So when the epic "Australia" opens, I will be front and center like a 9-year-old at a Miley Cyrus autograph signing. I cannot believe Nicole Kidman got paid for this.

For Shame

You know what I hate more than the Olympic hype machine? Gratuitous objectification of the opposite sex! So this smoking hot photo of Michael Phelps' perfect torso is meant merely as a statement against all of those ... things. Shameful.

In Praise of the Smokin' Dad

It's nice to live in an age when women over 40 aren't automatically consigned to the Sexually Neutral dustbin. But something about the whole Cougar/MILF/GILF thing pisses me off — aside from the icky acronym. Notice how no one ever says, "Hey, that guy is a father of three, but he's still good-looking" or "Man, it's amazing how great Phil looks at age 42"? It's as if people are surprised to see an attractive mom who owns a tube of lipstick and still goes to the gym (I know several). Or that a woman older than Carrie Underwood could still be hot. Why?

I mean, I see a lot of middle-aged dads, and it's not like their ranks are exactly filled with Hugh Jackman types. I think my 40-year-old runner/skater husband (and baby daddy) looks fantastic. But an awful lot of his peers look they aren't even trying, unlike their wives, who are berating themselves for not looking 23 and childless. So let us now praise and objectify the Smokin' Dad, that rare breed of eye candy.

First, there's the dad at my daughter's preschool: sleek as a cat, stylish in that urban slacker way and owner of a muy sexy accent. When he says "Good morning, ladies" after dropping his kid off, I know I'm not the only one going all fluttery inside. Good morning to you, sir!

There's another dad at my son's school, and he apparently comes straight from the gym to pick up his kid. I don't see him anymore since the husband and I switched schedules. That's too bad, because the guy is usually wearing shorts and a snug T-shirt. He's got a kind of Clark Kent thing going on with glasses, short, dark hair, and a nice ... form. Well done.

Smokin' Dad No. 3 walks past our neighborhood almost every day, and he's usually accompanied by his adorable toddler, equally cute wife and their three — yes, three — Weimeraner dogs. Sometimes he's got the kid strapped to his back. That's how hardcore he is, and it shows. Woof!

There are others, most notably the Former Geek Dads who have more than overcome their awkward teen phases. They were always the hottest ones, anyway.