Last night, my brother and I traded text messages as we watched an hour or so of the Democratic National Convention, including Barack Obama's nifty speech. Because he lives in Atlanta and our sister lives in L.A., we don't get to simultaneously mock/analyze random television events like we used to. I decided to transcribe some of our running commentary, most of which took place while Obama was speaking. (FYI, Troupe St. is the street we grew up on, and it's adjacent to the 'hood.)
Me: Meanwhile, McCain is somewhere blinking.
Him: He actually nodded off around 8:45 EST.
Me: White people are crying! This is like, whoa.
Him: It's like a damn Michael Jackson concert.
Me: In Germany!
Him: (after a numbers-related comment) Bush just pulled out his calculator.
Me: He also pulled out a dictionary.
Him: He already passed out from bewilderment.
Me: In basketball, this is called dunking.
Him: It's also known as hitting your opponent square upside the head with the basketball.
Me: And then knocking him into the stands.
Him: And then going Ron Artest on them.
Him: LOL at the camera finding every Negro in the stadium.
Me: It's Freaknik!
Me: (paraphrasing Obama) "Unlike John McCain, I will stay awake past 7:30." Now, Biden is no joke. He will get with McCain, Troupe St.-style.
Him: Biden once killed a man, just by looking at him.
Me: Chuck Norris, yo.
Him: Roundhouse 2008. This is a Chucktatorship.
Me: At this point, he has more groupies than LeBron. But Michelle would cut them. And him.
Him: Pastor Obama.
Me: Martin Luther Obama.
Him: Malcolm Obama.
Me: Abe Obama.
Him: Barack F. Kennedy.
Me: Phew. That is hilarious.
It's times like these when I'm really glad I have siblings.