Oranges Need To Get Over Themselves

With apologies to the genius blog that is F*ck You, Penguin

I'm over you, orange. You're clinging to your glory days as Florida's official fruit and a semi-exotic foodstuff, but I know what you really are. Common. Cheap. At $1.99 a bag, you aren't fooling anyone.

So the fact that you're so freaking difficult to peel pisses me off. Do you think playing hard to get makes me value you more highly? Look, you're just the pit stop between breakfast and lunch, not some carefully considered purchase from the farmer's market or New Leaf. You're not even organic.

I only bought you because I got bored with apples and grapes, and tangerines weren't available. Tangerines are sweet and easy. They don't put on airs or act like they're too good to be sectioned. You, on the other hand, expect to be labored over and earned. Please. You're not a lychee.

If you think I'm going to waste my time delicately peeling away your layers of so-called complexity, you are sadly mistaken. Say hello to my little friend the sharp knife.

Jerk.

In Praise Of Tapas

I met the book club ladies last night at Tapas, a new restaurant in Midtown Tallahassee that was, as I predicted, packed. Tallahasseans swarm to new eateries of any kind, and a place with decent buzz can stay mobbed for months. Local restaurant critic Ashby Stiff gave it four-and-a-half hats, so it's officially a hot ticket.

The food was delicious, and the service attentive. We shared several different dishes, and all of them were winners — hummus with olives, seared manchego cheese, sea scallop paella, grouper tacos, organic greens. Throw in some wine, and no one had room for dessert. The only quibble is that it's loud inside, but the outdoor patio should be nice once the spring weather kicks in.

I discovered tapas dining a couple of years ago when my friend C. took me to Jaleo in Bethesda, Md. It's a running joke that we have to eat at Jaleo whenever I'm in town, because the food there is so good. I'm glad Tallahassee has its own version now, so come on down, C.!

Footnote: Midtown Tallahassee is adorable, and I can see that it is rapidly becoming a hipster magnet. When we went next door for coffee, I saw a lot of skinny jeans, Apple laptops and slightly pretentious-looking hats. But it's not so edgy that I was out of place in my Working Mom gear, either.