I Think Barack Wants To See Other People

At first he used to e-mail me every day, sometimes twice a day. While he never used the L word, he told me he needed me. Repeatedly. But now that he's gotten my vote, Barack's acting all distant. No more late-night infomercials and soul-stirring monologues; just a quick shout-out here and there, which is the presidential equivalent of "I'll call you." I know he's busy appointing Cabinet members and looking for a hypoallergenic dog, but I feel like the 11th grade girl who's being left behind by her Harvard college freshman boyfriend. I'm even still wearing the T-shirt, like a varsity jacket.

I hope it's not too awkward at the inauguration.

If You Haven't Read It ...

Go out and get the Nov. 17 issue of Newsweek, which does a 360-degree analysis of the 2008 presidential campaign and, of course, President-Elect Obama's victory. Even if you didn't vote for him, the magazine is worth getting for the sheer amount of campaign dish. (Notice I said "get" as opposed to "read online." I'm trying to do my bit for the struggling print industry.)

Among the highlights so far:

1. Referring to former President Bill Clinton, a Hillary Clinton aide referred to a friend's private plane as "Air F*** One."

2. Before his presidential run, Obama once broke down in tears while telling a friend how much he regretted being away from his family during his Senate campaign.

3. Remembering how they'd slimed John McCain in 2000, Cindy McCain disdainfully referred to some of her husband's advisors as "those Bush people."

4. While Hillary Clinton answered a reporter's question about why voters didn't see her as particularly likeable, Obama quipped from the sidelines, "You're likeable enough, Hillary."

5. Obama was so distracted during a pre-primary debate that John Edwards scolded him, "You've got to focus!"

6. Hillary hung up on her advisors during a conference call, after her plea for "insight" and "suggestions" met with silence.

7. Obama didn't eat much of the rich food (pancakes, sausage dogs, burgers) on the road. He'd take one bite of a French fry and get the rest "to go," though reporters never once saw him eat the leftovers.

8. When Edward Kennedy chided Bill Clinton for making disparaging remarks about Obama, Clinton responded, "They started it."

9. At Coretta Scott King's funeral, Ethel Kennedy, widow of Robert F., whispered to Obama, "The torch has been passed to you." No pressure.

10. Despite the claim that the press was in love with Obama, many reporters disliked him early on because he was aloof and too scripted. McCain, on the other hand, missed the friendly relationship he had wiith reporters during his "Straight Talk Express" days.

11. Because of his self-restraint, the 44th president came to be known among his campaign staff as "No Drama Obama."

12. (My personal favorite) Asked if she'd stab Karl Rove in the back if he walked past, Cindy McCain said, "No. I'd stab him in the front."

What's Gotten Into Condi?

My friend E. just forwarded this super-glam photo of Condoleezza Rice, shown accepting a Glamour magazine Woman of the Year award. After years of wearing helmet hair, Condi looks fresh and youthful with a flattering new haircut.

And then there was her glowing reaction to Barack Obama's victory last week. One pundit pointed out that he had never seen Condi look so happy. Is it just me, or does it seem like she's really ready to be done with her Team W. days?

Yes, We Did!

Memorable moments from last night's nonstop election coverage:

1. The Obamas are going to be the most attractive family in the White House since the Kennedys. They are just so nice to look at — elegant and genuinely affectionate with one another.

2. How did Jesse Jackson get a ticket for the Grant Park event? Was he in the Hating Section? In any case, those tears looked real to me.

3. McCain gave an graceful concession speech that struck the right tone. He sounded like the guy I remember from his 2000 campaign, and that was kinda bittersweet.

4. Who came up with that ridiculous CNN hologram concept? I didn't need to see Will.i.am "beamed" into the studio with Anderson Cooper.

5. I'm pretty sure this is the first time a round of the electric slide has broken out following an Electoral College vote tally. The scene in Harlem was classic.

6. At the risk of sounding naive about the state of race relations, I was moved by the sheer diversity of the Grant Park crowd. And that's not even counting the diversity in age, sexual orientation and socioeconomic status.

7. Speaking of crowd scenes, how cool was it to see the cheering in Sydney, Tokyo and beyond? That might have more to do with Bush than Obama, but still.

8. I know they have to give us something, but the networks drove me crazy with announcements like this: "Well, 3 percent of the votes in Ohio have been tallied, and so far ..."

9. I honestly felt a little bad for the subdued McCain supporters at campaign headquarters. I know that feeling, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Except Karl Rove.

10. It was surreal to watch the nation turn a page in our political and racial history. It will be years before we know the real impact of an Obama presidency, but for the moment, I am thrilled.

Closet Case

You heard it here first: There will be a Sarah Palin paper doll for sale — complete with fashion accessories — before the week is out. The news that the Republican National Committee spent more than $150,000 on Palin's wardrobe and grooming is just too good not to be exploited. Seriously, this is the way you connect with "regular Americans?" The ones currently digging in their sofas for spare change and shopping at Wal-Mart? The last thing I bought from Saks Fifth Avenue was tube of lip gloss. And they call East Coast liberals out of touch?

I realize that image is important in these paparazzi-defined times, especially for politicians. But this looks bad from any angle, even if the clothes are destined for charity. Why can't the governor of Alaska buy her own shit? The RNC is trying to dismiss this as a frivolous media fixation, but maybe they should have thought of that before pandering to Joe Six-pack during a recession.

And I'm gonna go there: This is the best Palin could do with $150K? Something about her aesthetic - shiny jackets, bordering-on-tight skirts, a loooooot of red - is a little ghetto. Say what you want about Cindy McCain, but she is, as the kids might say, fresh to death. Palin's look says "sorta hot assistant principal." I can picture fashion guru Tim Gunn, brow furrowed, sizing her up: "Sarah? I'm concerned."

As much as Palin annoys me, she is attractive and has an enviable figure. If I had her legs, I'd probably wear snug little skirts, too. But with $150,000 to blow on clothes, I'd call up my most fashionable friends, or my sister, and ask for help in unleashing my inner Jackie Kennedy.

Whoops! I forgot: She's a liberal, East Coast elite style icon.

Cracked Out On Hope?

Unless Barack Obama starts clubbing baby seals between now and November, it looks like he's on his way to the White House. I'm not sure what McCain can do to win swing voters at this point, short of leaving bags of gold doubloons on their doorsteps.

I'm happy about that, obviously. I'm a liberal-leaning moderate who thinks the leader of the free world should be compassionate, level-headed and much (much) smarter than I am, so Obama's easy to love. I'm also black, so I'm not going to deny how much his victory would mean to me and my family. My daughter has toy telephone conversations with him, and my son thinks he's "cool." My husband derives great pleasure from watching McCain seethe at having to take Obama seriously.

That being said, can we dial down the Messianic expectations? As much as I dig Obama's narrative and the Hope theme ... well, he's a politician. I wouldn't be voting for him if I didn't think his intentions were honorable, but he's a politician. I was a journalist for too long not to be skeptical. Not cynical, but skeptical. He can't do much without the buy-in of Congress, and George W. Bush has all but burned the place down. I think the most important thing his presidency will do is to help undo our reputation as Crackheads of the Universe. But he is not, as one Web site put it, a walking healing crystal.

My Facebook friend A. got me thinking about this. A., a staunch Hillary supporter, loathes - I mean loathes - Obama. A card-carrying member of the East Coast Media Elite, A. sees Obama as a politcal Kim Kardashian on whom the entire nation has a nauseating crush. He says we are drunk on the snake oil of Hope. A. is also upset that some of his friends might interpret his disdain as racism, especially since even conservatives like David Brooks want to be Obama's BFF.

It should go without saying that disliking Obama (or any person of color) doesn't make one a Klan member. There are a lot of black people I don't like. While I strongly disagree with A.'s assessment, I think he does have a point about the danger of focusing all our hopes and dreams for a colorblind, progressive society on one man. His election would (will?) be one for the history books, and I plan to celebrate (Obama-cue!). It's astounding to me that some people apparently have never seen a family like the Obamas, but I'm happy that they are serving to crush stereotypes.

But assuming that he wins, Obama has a lot of work ahead of him. There will be potholes and snafus along the way, as there are with any president. I don't expect miracles, just responsible leadership that involves Sarah Palin in no way, shape or form.

A. is young, so maybe he's seeing more starry-eyed followers than I am. Most of my friends who are supporting Obama are doing so with their eyes open. Our political Tiger Beat days ended when Bill Clinton left office. We've got Hope, but we know when to say when.

Sticker-Free, For Now

I've never been much of a bumper sticker person, especially since I worked for so long in a field that discourages displays of political preference. But I'm excited about my candidate of choice in a way I haven't been in years. I'm not a newspaper journalist anymore, so if I want to slap a "Geek Moms for Obama" bumper sticker on my humble station wagon, I can. Except, I'm afraid to.

Because I spend my time with sane, clear-thinking people, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about wingnuts. I just don't have the energy. But the "Kill him!" madness that went down during a recent Sarah Palin campaign appearance is bothering me. Not just in a "Wow, that's fucked up" way, but in a "There are still people who want to put a bullet in uppity black folks" way. It forced me to consider the fact that there are people who are quietly (and not so quietly) seething that a man of color is well on his way to the Oval Office. They're dressing it up in rhetoric about his "radical" connections, but anyone who thinks race isn't the issue here is delusional. I watched a CBS reporter ask some McCain supporters about whether it was fair to refer to Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama," and their outrage was palpable: "That's his name isn't it?" one woman spat back. "We're just calling him by his name."

There are plenty of people riding around with Obama (and McCain) bumper stickers, and their cars don't appear to be keyed or have broken windows. We're used to enthusiastic displays of partisanship in Tallahassee, but it is getting ugly out there. The last thing I need with two kids in tow is a confrontation in the Shell parking lot, or worse, on Capital Circle. On the wrong day, I might engage, and that wouldn't be good for anybody. So for now, I'm keeping it sticker-free. It's my vote that really counts - I hope.

Sarah Palin = Peggy Hill?

Sometimes, watching "King of the Hill" is the only thing that gets me through the grim task of gym cardio at 5:30 a.m. This morning, while slogging it out on the elliptical machine, I had an epiphany: Sarah Palin is Peggy Hill.

She certainly bears a physical resemblance to Hank's substitute teacher wife — the large brown hair, the glasses. But they also seem to share a rock-solid confidence that is wildly out of proportion with their accomplishments. Peggy's hubris has been the launching pad for many a classic episode. A substitute Spanish teacher, Peggy got hired at an elite Catholic school by posing as a nun — then prepared for the task by watching telenovas. After taking an online test administered by "The Intelligence Institute of Texas," she was convinced she was a genius and spent $900 on a bogus Ph.D. When she ran for the Arlen School Board, the only things more comical than her ruthless ambition were her use of props (a backgammon game "briefcase") and her insistence on answering her cell phone with the phrase, "War room!"

If a cartoon John McCain (or Barack Obama) had called Peggy out of the blue to be his running mate, I suspect she wouldn't have hesitated to accept. How hard could it be?

Stepping Down From The Ledge

I keep trying to write about the good comics I've read or my kids' lack of enthusiasm for whole wheat pancakes, but all I can think about is politics. And I don't want to.

While I think it's every citizen's responsibility to be informed, an election season can suck you into a bottomless pit of blogs, CNN updates and grassy knoll conspiracy theories. It's a slippery slope, so I've tried to stick to the basics. Last week, I decided to tune in to the highlights of the Republican National Convention. I knew I wasn't voting for McCain, but I wanted to be fair and at least hear what the GOP had to say.

Something weird happened to me after listening to Sarah Palin's speech. I've managed to keep it together pretty well the last couple of years, but the more I listened to Palin, the angrier I became. I can't remember the last time a political speech left me sitting on the edge of the couch, wondering where I could purchase a torch and a pitchfork. Attractive and personable, Palin unleashed the most cynical, low-rent stream of red-white-and-blue-coated crap I'd heard in ages. And I remember the Reagan years.

I'm not saying it wasn't an effective speech, and God knows many of the speakers at the DNC plucked my nerves by constantly playing the "Bush sucks" card. (We know, but he isn't running again.) And as much as I liked Obama's speech, he made me nervous by promising too much.

What made me angry about Palin's speech is that it pandered to the people who helped drag the level of political discourse in this country down to 3rd grade level in the first place: Attack the liberal media (check); attack "elitists," which, apparently, do not include GOP millionaires such as John and Cindy McCain or Mitt Romney (check); take cheap shots at the opponent instead of talking about your ideas (check).

As I predicted, certain members of the base are beside themselves with glee. Online comment boards are full of messages like, "U LIBERALS R RUNNING SCARED! Sarah Rulez and She is HOTT." and "Palin is a real patriot, unlike the radical Barack Hussein Obama, who wants to turn us all into members of al-Qaida!!!!"

I don't like being this mad, but I've had enough. I am tired of hearing about fetuses, patriotism, 9/11, "protecting marriage" and religion in government. I am tired of hearing people having to defend the teaching of science in public school classrooms. I am sick of hearing people who made horrible jokes about Chelsea Clinton — who was a child at the time — bemoan the "media hatchet job" on a grown woman who is running for vice president of the United States.

I grew up in a small town. I consider myself a Christian, and I am raising children in a "traditional" middle class, two-parent household. But nothing in Sarah Palin's shout-out to small-town folks and hockey moms resonated with me. If anything, it made me want to write Obama a check. A couple of checks.

Suddenly, Nov. 4 seems very far away.

One Last Thing ...

My friend E. pointed me to this moving Bob Herbert column in today's New York Times. I'm a lifelong skeptic who chooses her bandwagons carefully, especially where race and politics are concerned. Anyone who knows me well knows that. But skepticism isn't the same as cynicism, and I don't have a lot of patience for people (black, white and otherwise) who've been saying Barack Obama's nomination doesn't really mean anything. With his typical eloquence, Herbert explains why it does.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I cannot wait to see "Tropic Thunder" this weekend!

DNC Convention: A Text Analysis

Last night, my brother and I traded text messages as we watched an hour or so of the Democratic National Convention, including Barack Obama's nifty speech. Because he lives in Atlanta and our sister lives in L.A., we don't get to simultaneously mock/analyze random television events like we used to. I decided to transcribe some of our running commentary, most of which took place while Obama was speaking. (FYI, Troupe St. is the street we grew up on, and it's adjacent to the 'hood.)

Me: Meanwhile, McCain is somewhere blinking.

Him: He actually nodded off around 8:45 EST.

Me: ROFL!!!

Me: White people are crying! This is like, whoa.

Him: It's like a damn Michael Jackson concert.

Me: In Germany!

Him: (after a numbers-related comment) Bush just pulled out his calculator.

Me: He also pulled out a dictionary.

Him: He already passed out from bewilderment.

Me: In basketball, this is called dunking.

Him: It's also known as hitting your opponent square upside the head with the basketball.

Me: And then knocking him into the stands.

Him: And then going Ron Artest on them.

Him: LOL at the camera finding every Negro in the stadium.

Me: It's Freaknik!

Me: (paraphrasing Obama) "Unlike John McCain, I will stay awake past 7:30." Now, Biden is no joke. He will get with McCain, Troupe St.-style.

Him: Biden once killed a man, just by looking at him.

Me: Chuck Norris, yo.

Him: Roundhouse 2008. This is a Chucktatorship.

Me: At this point, he has more groupies than LeBron. But Michelle would cut them. And him.

Him: Pastor Obama.

Me: Martin Luther Obama.

Him: Malcolm Obama.

Me: Abe Obama.

Him: Barack F. Kennedy.

Me: Phew. That is hilarious.

It's times like these when I'm really glad I have siblings.

Obama's Geek Cred

After buying my "Star Wars"-themed Obama T-shirt, I started searching for other geek-oriented Obama merchandise. There's quite of a bit of it, and also quite a bit of commentary suggesting that the senator's ascendancy is directly related to the social and political influence of geeks. "Geek" is a pretty broad term, one others are far more qualified than I to define. But based on my tiny bit of research, many RPG, computer, comics and sci-fi geeks appear to be down with Obama. That might have something to do with the fact that one of John McCain's top aides said McCain "is aware of the Internet." Then another brilliant McCain aide made reference "the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd" dissing the former POW "from the comfort of mom's basement."

Anyway, I came across a couple of items bearing various "geeks for Obama" messages:

I particularly like this play on the fist-bump, which inexplicably triggered asinine conspiracy theories about terrorism. And with those ripped arms of hers, Michelle Obama might actually be a superhero. This is very cute, though Playstation and Xbox owners wouldn't be caught dead in a T-shirt with this image. I love the phrase, "chaotic awesome." Finally, a little circuit board action for the IT crowd.

Purchase of the Week

I can't wait to wear this T-shirt, which combines my love of old-school "Star Wars" and my (desperate) hope for an Obama presidency. I'd have gone with a Rebel Alliance theme, but this is still pretty awesome.

Speaking of geek stuff, Obama shed some light on his superhero preferences in an interview with Entertainment Weekly:

“I was always into the Spider-Man/Batman model. The guys who have too many powers, like Superman, that always made me think they weren’t really earning their superhero status. It’s a little too easy. Whereas Spider-Man and Batman, they have some inner turmoil. They get knocked around a little bit.”

No word on his thoughts about "Final Crisis," however.

Is It Really Over For Edwards?

Back when it was still a three-wo/man race for the Democratic presidential nomination, I was pulling for John Edwards. I liked Barack and all, but I particularly dug Edwards' consistent message about poverty in the U.S. When Edwards dropped out of the race, I hoped he'd wind up as Barack's V.P. choice when the time came.

I still do. Except now, some pundits claim that his admission to an extramarital affair has sunk his political career. And I don't get it.

My heart goes out to Elizabeth Edwards who, on top of battling cancer, now has to deal with this humiliating bullshit. It's national news that her husband of 30 years cheated on her in 2006, and despite his vehement denial, speculation remains that he may have fathered the other woman's child. I hope he's telling the truth about that, and I really hope his kids don't know more than they ought to. What can you say? It's jacked up.

But I'm not defending John Edwards' "mistake," 30 years is a long time. A mighty long time. We'd all like to think our marriages are bulletproof, but as long as human beings are involved, there are no guarantees. I've been married for 11 years, and even when things are going great, I'm stunned by the amount of effort and compromise it requires. Plus, the Edwardses have lived through the loss of their 16-year-old son, cancer and who knows what else. A friend of mine who is in her early 60s and divorced said it plainly a few years ago: "You never know what's going to happen."

But people like tidy morality tales, so there is no way Edwards can share the ticket with Obama now — despite the fact that this has nothing to do with my tax dollars, foreign policy, civil rights, education, national security or the economy. I guess you could play the Family Values card, but look where the "restoration of morality in the White House" has gotten us.

It's Obama!

It finally hit me this morning that a multiracial man with a family that looks like mine could be the next president of the United States. Like most people, I'm generally cynical about politics, and the recent infighting in the Democratic Party has been nauseating. But I couldn't help but savor a moment that I wasn't sure I'd witness this early in my lifetime. As my husband put it, "I thought it would happen in our lifetime, but I thought I'd be old as hell before it did." Even if Obama doesn't win, he could easily run again in four more years. I don't see McCain having two terms, especially if there isn't drastic change in our Iraq war policy.

Meanwhile, could Hillary please step aside gracefully? I think it's a mistake for her black supporters to pressure Obama to put her on the ticket. I'm not saying folks like Charlie Rangel should have automatically supported Obama, but they looked pretty stupid this morning on CNN, talking about "coming together and moving forward." Please. Some of these same people all but said America wasn't ready for a man of color in the White House, that Obama should wait his turn, etc. Frankly, his refusal to play by the rules of the old guard has made his candidacy even more appealing.

I know the battle for the White House is going to be long, hard and ugly. But for now, I'm savoring a genuinely sweet and meaningful moment.

P.S.: Obama warning the GOP to lay off his wife? Hot!

Reason No. 5

This video of Chris Matthews going OFF on blowhard radio host Kevin James is nothing short of sublime. Keep watching. It just gets better and better.

Well played, Chris.

It's So Obvious

I hope I get the chance to vote for Barack Obama. But I have to wonder how his people managed to overlook the perfect campaign slogan: Obama '08: Bros before hoes.

The Florida Legislature Makes My Head Hurt

When you've lived in Florida as long as I have, you learn to put up with certain things. Hurricane season. Huge, flying cockroaches. The Florida Legislature.

I am not a wonk or a political junkie. But over the years, I've been fascinated by the breathtaking stupidity of some of the legislative proposals coming out of the state Capitol. I know there are lawmakers who are trying to do the right thing and who aren't wasting my money with boot contests, but the state of things is pretty depressing.

Never mind that proposed budget cuts ($4 billion) will hobble public schools and a number of programs that serve the sick and needy. No, what lawmakers really need to take a stand on is: evolution!

Yep, a current Senate bill would "(provide) public school teachers with a right to present scientific information relevant to the full range of views on biological and chemical evolution; (and prohibit) a teacher from being discriminated against for presenting such information." That's just a fancy way of saying, "You can't punish a science teacher for espousing creationism." That sounds nice and fair — except that the whole God-created-the-universe idea has no place whatsoever in a SCIENCE classroom.

I know plenty of Christians who are outraged that this is being seriously discussed in 2008. I mean, if you truly believe that God created the Earth in seven, 24-hour days and that evolution is some nutty theory that contradicts the existence of a higher power, um, OK. But I don't want you teaching science to my kids.

Then there's the bill that would require women seeking an abortion to first have an ultrasound exam. They could then either see the image or sign a form declining to do so. I understand that people feel strongly about abortion, which raises complicated questions I'm not qualified to answer. But neither is the Florida Legislature. A pregnancy, welcome or not, is an extremely personal and individual circumstance, and this level of meddling is so blatantly inappropriate and unnecessary.

Besides, I have yet to see this level of hand-wringing concern on behalf of the "already born" who aren't faring so well. Interesting that you rarely see impassioned marches on the Capitol or hysterical letters to the editor on behalf of kids who are in foster care or being neglected/abused. (Did I mention that Florida is one of three states that ban gays outright from adopting? One of three. In the entire country.)

Anyway, it's nice to know that legislators aren't letting their fancy boots go unappreciated. Thanks, guys.