Monday, August 17, 2009

Seriously. Enough.


I realize that vampires had their fans long before "Twilight," and if I owned a store with any vampire-themed wares, I'd be promoting the heck out of them right now. I totally get it. OK?

But when I walked into Borders this weekend and saw a huge display dedicated to the Gen Y vampires of "Twilight," "Blue Bloods," etc., I was overcome with exhaustion. Maybe it's because, for the umpteenth time this year, the cover of my beloved Entertainment Weekly is devoted to some permutation of the "Twilight" saga — this time, the "New Moon" sequel. Or maybe it's because I can't walk through a checkout aisle without a publication telling me that Robert Pattinson (Edward) and Kristen Stewart (Bella) are in love/breaking up/just pals/totally doing it. And didn't I just see a commercial for the CW's new teen drama "The Vampire Diaries?"

Again, I understand that Stephanie Meyer is but one of several writers who happened to write a series of books about vampires. Hers is the biggest, and she's certainly doing her part to help keep food on booksellers' tables. (And to be fair, when the "Harry Potter" books were at their peak, bookstores were pimping every children's series that looked like JK Rowling might have had something to do with it). "New Moon" will probably be a huge hit this fall, and as I've admitted, I haven't exactly been immune to Pattinson's charms as Edward Cullen. HBO's "True Blood" seems like the kind of show I would love, and I'm looking forward to renting the DVDs and getting acclimated. But for the love of God. I feel we're at the beginning some cosmic shark-jumping moment that will end in a Disney vampire musical featuring songs by Demi Lovato.

10 comments:

Beckie said...

I agree 1000%. But you know the musical is coming, it just is. eww.

downtown guy said...

Plus, any creature that can go out in daylight, impregnate a living woman, and doesn't prey on humans ain't a vampire. It's a fantasy boyfriend.

You know what scene, to me, shows what hooking up with a vampire would really entail according to our the main traditional mythology? I don't know if you watch True Blood, but there's one point where Vampire Bill's had to take refuge in a grave for a day. He basically drags his naked ass out of the ground and fucks his human girlfriend right there in the dirt, and that sums it up for me: vampires can be charming, but in the end they're the walking, biting dead. Not a sparkly teenager.

EDP said...

"In the end they're the walking, biting dead. Not a sparkly teenager." Indeed. They are undead, which is not sexy so much as terrifying. That show sounds awesome, though. And Beckie, we will avert our eyes when the inevitable musical drops.

Leslie said...

True Blood is great! And the books are actually well-written and have correct English spelling and grammar - What a concept!

They also came waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay before Twilight (which I can not make it through the book...)

Anyway, I recommend True Blood the show and The Sookie Stackhouse Novels (there's currently 7 out and another coming in October.)

P.S. - If you think Twilight is overplayed now... someone posted a link to "The Twilight Dildo" on Twitter today.

EDP said...

Seriously?! And yet, I know you're right. This is too bizarre not to be true!

~ V ~ said...
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~ V ~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~ V ~ said...

Yes, there is an overwhelming vampire craze at the moment, catapulted into the consciousness by Twilight, but no more than Harry Potter at it's peak. I do agree with the lovely EDP in that all the biters (hehe pun) give me that over saturated, nauseating feeling that comes from corny shit. But Twilight (as HP did) has transcended the common fanfare and is officially iconic. You can hold on to your traditional vampire lore if you want, but it makes me think of my former job where they used to say things like "Well we've always done it this way so..." Things change. Vampires Sparkle.

~ V ~ said...

Off topic, but pardon my deleted comments. You know I thought when you delete something...then you know, it got deleted. Not there was a post here by this specific person and they decided to remove it. Jeez, and for the record, I made grammatical and spelling errors...BOTH TIMES (hadn't had my coffee yet). My OCD would not allow it to remain. But now my OCD is irritated by the announcement of my deletion.

EDP said...

Biting! I love it.