Radio Rage

Every couple of years, a popular song comes along and strikes every irrational nerve in my body. In some cases, the song is actually objectionable — take Guy's "Piece of My Love" or anything ever written by Richard Marx. However, I've been thrown into blind rage by tunes as innocuous as John Mayer's "Daughters." And I like John Mayer, but that song makes me want to fight someone. Yes, I know. They make pills for that.

The latest culprit is Hinder's "Lips of an Angel," a song that normally wouldn't be on my radar screen since I rarely listen to the radio. But my iPod was out of juice the other day, and I commute with children who don't like NPR. I thought it was going to be your standard, growly rock ballad (Daughtry? Nickelback?) , but as always, I made the mistake of listening the lyrics.

Few things are worse than "sensitive" songs that make the singer seem like an asshole. In this case, the singer gets a late-night call from an ex-girlfriend who is upset and probably drunk dialing. OK, fine. It happens. Except that his current girlfriend is there. And instead of telling the psycho ex to call back at a decent hour or send an e-mail, he declares:

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

It's always an ego boost to hear from an old lover, but he's essentially admitting that his heart's not really in the relationship he's currently conducting. Worse, the duplicitous bastard is still carrying a torch for some chick who is making it "hard to be faithful" with her wee hour come-ons.

Bored by long-term monogamy? Welcome to adulthood, bro. But if you're cooing with ex-girlfriends while the woman who is probably equally bored by your ass keeps the bed warm, maybe you should re-evaluate this fidelity thing. You're not doing her any favors by sticking around, so go have a tearful reunion with your hooked-on-drama ex, who is doubtlessly your soul mate. Good luck with that.

And in the future, I'll stick to NPR and less infuriating topics, like the war in Iraq or our broken health-care system.